At the end of the day, how do you want to be remembered?
Do you want to be remembered as the girl who never ate? Who was always working out? Who had toned abs and tone arms?
Do you want to be remembered as the resilient girl who overcame adversity? Do you want to be remembered as selfless, dedicating your life to helping others? Do you want to be remembered as self aware, spending all your time and effort into living the best life you can live and be the best version of yourself?
It's easy to get muddled up in the appearance-centric media and buy into the beliefs that we will feel more worthy, loved, and valued if we look a certain way. I fed into that marketing for the better part of my whole life, and it never provided me with a sense of fulfillment or lasting happiness. Instead of looking outside to find happiness, I've been learning to cultivate happiness from within. Instead of looking to find happiness in a toned arm, I've been pushing myself to find happiness in what I bring to the world and the quality of relationships I have.
The word "triggered" in any sort of recovery context holds negative connotations, connotations that in saying or doing something you are negatively affecting those around you. For the longest time, in my recovery, I was triggered by other people's looks, actions, words, or anything else. For me, it was so hard to look at other people acting in a certain way and not respond or react. It was hard for me to not buy into whatever beliefs people advocated for, and I internalized those expectations.
I am working towards being strong in my sense of self. I am learning how to be so unbelievably secure in my truth, that regardless of what anyone says or does, I am unwavered.
I have begun to see how it takes a certain level of confidence in yourself to be unaffected by things that are occurring in the periphery. To be impressionable and swayed by the crowd indicates a lack of groundedness of yourself and your truth.
The more secure I am in myself, the less I am swayed by the background noise of other people's actions or thoughts.
This sense of security and strength takes a long time to cultivate, and just like anything else I have learned through my recovery, unlearning learned habits is at the core of long term change. Staying grounded in my truth, living by my truth, and being the most authentic version of myself has allowed me to live spontaneously. Being unaffected by others means I can be intuitive, mindful, and purposeful.
Begin by identifying your truth. Who do you want to be? Who do you want to be remembered as? What do you want your life to look like? What brings you a never ending sense of happiness and joy? The more I look inwards to find happiness, the more I am able to uncover about what my truth is. The more I push myself to live as authentically as I can, the more I am able to be the most free and happy version of myself that I am.
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